As modest as I am about nakedness, I am even more so about underwear. I would much rather be glimpsed in my all-together than my Just-My-Size underwear.
I can only attribute this to my many years in the military where you were required to strip down to your skivvies for even a foot exam. I tell you I have been on "High Alert" these last few days as I've made my rounds regarding my injured knee.
As I filled out paperwork in preparation of a MRI, I asked the receptionist if I would have to wear a gown for the scan. When she told me I could keep my clothes on, I let out a, "Yippie Skippie!" She said, "Pardon Me?" to which I joyfully responded, "I'm so happy I get to keep my clothes on!"
The receptionist then led me through a seemingly endless list of all the possible metal items I might have in my body. I felt as though I had gotten an "A" on a test by having answered "No" to each; but then she paused, and looked me right in the eye. "Do you have any metal in your eyes?"
I tell you I gasped out loud, "Would I know if I had metal in my eye? Do people come here with metal in their eyes?" To which she non-nonchalantly answered, "You'd be surprised." She then had me sign a release stating I knew I could cause major bodily harm to myself and the technicians if I entered the scanning room with any metal on my person.
The receptionist had me then place my purse in a locker which she locked and handed me the key dangling from a telephone cord like bracelet. "You can go in to the scanning room now." I didn't take a step! I raised my wrist with the dangling key, "What about the metal release form?"
Thank goodness the technician took my key the moment I crossed the threshold of the imaging room. I was directed to lie down on the scanning table as the technician explained that three scans would be taken, each lasting about 17 minutes. He handed me a panic button, placed ear phones on my head, and removed himself to the control panel.
The table began to whir, I felt myself entering the scanner. The technician asked what type of music did I wish to listen to. I opened my eyes and realized my head was just outside the tunnel shaped opening. "Oh my gosh! My head is going to be on the outside? I don't need to listen to any music." He said that I had to as the noise the machine made could harm my ears. "Talk Radio, please"
The technician asked if I was okay at the end of the first session, but what could I say? "We need to start all over because my underwear is in a bunch?" Let me tell you this was the longest hour of my life!
I go back to my doctor this coming Tuesday to have the scans read. I am already wondering if I will get to keep my clothes on if surgery is called for. Either way, I guarantee you my underwear will be situated!
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