Mr. Saturday Night

My brother John has now been a music teacher at his school for a very long time under the dictatorial guidance of Principal Cartwright. So caught up in her quest for perfection, she is not aware at all of her true surroundings.

Battles on a regular basis have been tolerated because of the notoriety of excellence John has brought to the school's music program. Not many schools put on productions with original scores. The cost saved from purchasing copyrighted material is a feather in Principal Cartwright's cap.

As this week saw the last day of school for the students, it also marked Mrs. Cartwright's last day as Principal. Her time to retire had finally come. She called John into her office. "I'd like you to be the Master of Ceremonies, I have file cards here with fun facts about myself you can use between speakers." Mind you, she has just given an opening to the teacher who calls out her pretentiousness every chance he is given.

For example, when Ms. Cartwright noticed John had taken a Personal Day, she inquired of him what was the nature of his request knowing this was against union mandates. My brother replied, "I am going to see the doctor about my EBR" Mrs. Cartwright huffed, "I've never heard of EBR, what is it?" "Early Bowel Release."  my brother replied straight face. "It used to be called Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but was deemed too negative a connotation. IBS is now called EBR, Early Bowel Release."  Ms. Cartwright has never asked John again about a personal day earned.

Ceremony evening, speaker introductions made, time in between to pull out file cards."Mrs. Cartwright has written fun facts about herself, but I know a few myself that aren't written down."

Addressing the audience of students who know their principal all too well, "Alright now, everyone yell out at the same time Mrs. Cartwright's favorite instrument." In unison the expected reply washes over Mrs. Cartwright, "The piano!" A moment waited, "That's what I thought, too. But her favorite instrument is the microphone. Once it's in her hand, she just can't put it down!" And so the evening went. What on earth did she expect from Mr. Saturday Night? She got what she deserved!

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