Eye of the Beholder

My husband returned home from Dr. Needlekor's office wearing his new glasses. He came into the kitchen to find me at the sink, back turned. Hearing his footsteps I turned expecting to find the familiar face of the man I know and love. Barely a connecting glance I burst into a belly laugh that would not end. Head bowed, arms around my midsection, each time I looked at him another round of giggles. I could not stop laughing.

"What?" my confused husband asked.
"Are those your new glasses?" barely audible between giggles. "They look like you got them at the Clown Store!"
"The lady who fitted me told me these are the trendiest style of the moment."
Legs crossed in the over 50 position, "What style? Clown College Style? I thought glasses were suppose to enhance your face, not obliterate it. All I can see are those glasses!  You have a little head. Your glasses go past the side of your face."
"Well I think they look great with my silver white hair." replied my husband becoming defensive.
"NO!" You aren't really going to serve people on the airplane wearing those, are you? Your eyes look huge! People will cough their food out of their mouths when they look up at you. You Have Got To Return Those!"
Indignant at this point, my husband exited the kitchen to the sound of my continued giggling. "Well I like them!"

All day and into the evening  my husband wore these glasses; and every time he turned his head to speak to me, I broke out into hysterical giggling. I just could not help myself! "You're not Drew Carey. He has a big head and can wear glasses like that. Your head is just too little!"

This morning my husband came into the kitchen as my back was turned to the sink. When I turned around he was wearing his REAL new glasses. Wire rimmed frames accentuating his handsome features.

MY FAMILY JUST LOVES TO TORTURE THEIR CLUELESS WIFE AND MOTHER.