Shake Weight (I appologize before I even begin for my brother!)

If it's the beginning of a New Year, you can be sure to be bombarded by television commercials touting the latest way to loose those extra holiday pounds. A telephone conversation with my brother had me in stitches.


Nieces by the oodles having babies what seems like every month ensures the topic of weight loss at every family gathering. At a shower this past spring my sister-in-law MaryJo arrived with an elongated box tucked under her arm without giving it any attention. Hugs and kisses, circle sitting to see everyone's face. It was soon noted out loud, "Mary, why is your right arm bigger than your left?"

This was the very moment Mary pulled from under her seat the mysterious box containing a silver cylinder we couldn't imagine what was. "It's the Shake Weight. Does anyone want it? I ordered it off of the television thinking it would be the perfect exercise for me to get my upper body in shape as I transport the kids to and from their various school activities. The only problem is I could only use it with my right arm as the car door was in the way of my left. Plus, people were giving me very weird looks when I would come to a stoplight while using it. Well, I'm a good Christian woman, I just can't use this thing"

My brother like myself has inherited our parental genes for weight. Good health needing to move to the top of his New Year's list, an opportunity to have fun with his intended.

A very long silver utility flashlight held in his underwear between his gluteus and maximus, John proceed to shake his posterior ala Jane Fonda while holding the back of a turned around chair just as his intended entered the room. "John, what on earth are you doing? "Exercise", he replied. "You've heard of the Shake Weight? This is the Thongamizer. It's suppose to make my rear end look cute in jeans. An astonished face seen on Ann, she continued to stare in disbelief. "But John, it's your stomach that needs work, not your back end." Still shaking, "Hey, I thought this would be the easiest place to start. My "cheeks" are on fire, it's working! I'll let you use it when I'm done. To which and incredulous Ann replied, "JOHN! I am not going to use that Thongamizer after you have used it. What on earth were you thinking in making this purchase?

"Sweetie, I just want to be the best me I can be for you. I love you with all my heart."

A sister as well mannered as can be, a brother who reminds her how to laugh!