Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Shake Weight (I appologize before I even begin for my brother!)


If it's the beginning of a New Year, you can be sure to be bombarded by television commercials touting the latest way to loose those extra holiday pounds. A telephone conversation with my brother had me in stitches.


Nieces by the oodles having babies what seems like every month ensures the topic of weight loss at every family gathering. At a shower this past spring my sister-in-law MaryJo arrived with an elongated box tucked under her arm without giving it any attention. Hugs and kisses, circle sitting to see everyone's face. It was soon noted out loud, "Mary, why is your right arm bigger than your left?"

This was the very moment Mary pulled from under her seat the mysterious box containing a silver cylinder we couldn't imagine what was. "It's the Shake Weight. Does anyone want it? I ordered it off of the television thinking it would be the perfect exercise for me to get my upper body in shape as I transport the kids to and from their various school activities. The only problem is I could only use it with my right arm as the car door was in the way of my left. Plus, people were giving me very weird looks when I would come to a stoplight while using it. Well, I'm a good Christian woman, I just can't use this thing"

My brother like myself has inherited our parental genes for weight. Good health needing to move to the top of his New Year's list, an opportunity to have fun with his intended.


A very long silver utility flashlight held in his underwear between his gluteus and maximus, John proceed to shake his posterior ala Jane Fonda while holding the back of a turned around chair just as his intended entered the room. "John, what on earth are you doing? "Exercise", he replied. "You've heard of the Shake Weight? This is the Thongamizer. It's suppose to make my rear end look cute in jeans. An astonished face seen on Ann, she continued to stare in disbelief. "But John, it's your stomach that needs work, not your back end." Still shaking, "Hey, I thought this would be the easiest place to start. My "cheeks" are on fire, it's working! I'll let you use it when I'm done. To which and incredulous Ann replied, "JOHN! I am not going to use that Thongamizer after you have used it. What on earth were you thinking in making this purchase?


"Sweetie, I just want to be the best me I can be for you. I love you with all my heart."



A sister as well mannered as can be, a brother who reminds her how to laugh!

24 comments:

Kathy @ Creative Home Expressions said...

I was so engrossed in your story, Elizabeth, I forgot to look at the pictures! I had to scroll back up and start over! : ) How funny your brother is; I'm sure his wife needs to be on her toes with him around!

ItsJustMe said...

Good Morning, Elizabeth! Loved your story! It's great to have a good laugh to start the day - TOO FUNNY! I first saw the "Shake Weight" on the "Ellen" show and since then I've seen it advertised for sale on t.v.! It looks like it might actually work! However, I do like your brother, John's, version of his "Thongamizer"! What a GREAT sense of humor he has! Gee, I never knew a utility flashlight had multiple uses! Ha! ENJOY YOUR DAY!

Pixie said...

I too have a brother who needs 'watching'. His poor wife may well get a sainthood out of the deal. But everyone loves 'Jughead' (he prefers to be called that) and he is an awesome brother, if a little embarrassing at times!

thanks for the valentine buddy pattern...I am going to make myself one this very evening!

Lisa said...

Elizabeth!! I'm new to your blog! I just LOVE your style and creativity!!! And a great story teller to boot!

I saw on your Flicker page the darling little Valentine guy that you show on your side bar.Do you have a tutorial for him?? I would soooo love to make him!

Lisa

Mary said...

Oh Elizabeth, that story was so funny! Laughing is just wonderful! Your Mr. Valentine is just darling and I want to make one for darling granddaughter. She will have a unique and custom made valentine from her Grandma~~
In that first picture I see a beautiful white valentine with what looks to be felted roses in the center? So pretty! Would love to see it better. Hope your day is wonderful and crafty!

rosechicfriends said...

Hi Elizabeth!
I recently just found your adorable blog and have been having so much fun looking at your posts! And...I had to comment on your darling creations! I love finding others who are just sooooo creative! That Birdy Mailman is just so cute and so are all of your others goodies!

Thanks for the wonderful eyecandy!
Warmly,
Lorena,
Rosechicfriends

Suz said...

I am rolling over in laughter, E. That is just hilarious! I grew up with crazy brothers and I am used to all kids of humor like that. What would we do without them, huh? They keep the outrageous in my life.
Hugs,
Suz

Cindy Marquis said...

Elizabeth, this is so funny! And thanks for the pattern.

Indigo Wings said...

Oh my!! What a story--it had me in stiches. Your brother sounds like a riot!

She'sSewPretty said...

Too funny!! If he figures out how to get rid of the belly weight-you will let us know. tee hee

Valarie said...

Hahaha I am laughing so hard. My sister got one of them for her Birthday, and I am shocked that my sons didn't think of using it for a Thongamizer. LOVE it. haha
xxoo Valarie

BucksCountyFolkArt said...

HAHAHHAHA!! heeeehhheeehheeee! hoohooohooo! Aw, poop! That's good stuff.

Linda said...

Thanks for all the patterns..

Denise said...

The first few times my husband and I saw that commercial we both looked at eachother and just burst out in laughter.We can't understand what they were thinking about when they invented that thing. Was it suppose to be a sexual joke or what?I hope they lose money on it.

cindy said...

Your blog is absolutely adorable! You make the cutest dang things. OK, my blog wants to be your blog one day! :D So glad I found ya!

-c

Pieceful Bits said...

hahaha! I needed that giggle today.
He'll have a Brazilian butt lift by the time he is done.
(~~)
Julie

Sunny simple life said...

So funny and I love all the red and white.

Pam @ Frippery said...

Just hilarious! Oh and your little sweet Valentine bird is the cutest yet. I keep saying I am going to find time to make one of your adorable creations. This is the month I will finally do it!

Twyla and Lindsey said...

Elizabeth, thanks for putting a smile on my face today! Have a nice week! Twyla

vivian said...

lol! I bet your brother is a blast. I was trying to picture your story as I read it! I dont know that I had ever heard of ehake weight before!
thanks for the smiles!
hugs
vivian

Creative Breathing said...

Hi Lisa! New To My Blog, Yes there is a pattern for the Valentine guy, and his tutorial is under Things You Are Looking For, Christmas Crafts. The same Snowman pattern is used to make all of my characters. I call them Flatsy Patsys! Thank you so much for asking! Elizabeth

Patti said...

What a good laugh for me - when Dear Hubs comes home I'm going to read your story to him - he will laugh so loud you might hear him! Very funny, E - thank you!

Beedeebabee said...

Oh, how funny!!! I wish I could have seen Ann's face! You are such a great story teller! ...and Mr. Valentine is just precious! Thank you Elizabeth! xo Paulette :D

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

Thanks for the pattern...and the fun! ♥♥♥