Monday, April 6, 2009
Praying In Water
My daughter's name is Kellye Lauren. Sensitive and intelligent, stubborn and passionate. She is unable to connect with people. The road less taken has been her path in life. The difficult path. It always will be. In her high school years when it became increasingly obvious that some connection was missing, I would hold all of my tears until my evening shower. This is when I would pray to God to save our daughter. The pain was unbearable, I wanted my life to end.
Surviving one car accident, "Kellye, God is calling you." Battling anorexia and the ever increasing distant personality, "Kellye, God is calling you." Surviving a second car accident, "Kelly, why can't you hear God?" A mother overdosing on all of her medication in front of her daughter, "Kellye, you can't hear God, can you hear my plea for you to get well?"
Home from the emergency room, my life in shatters, my beautiful daughter nearly gone to us, prayers in the shower. "God, I can't do it anymore. I give up. I let go. I give her to you." The answer from God was immediate. God had not been calling my daughter, he had been calling me.
At that moment I surrendered my life to God. My heart immediately felt light. I only spoke words of love and encouragement to my daughter not the negative begging that had no effect. She began to heal as I began this blog to tell my life's story from a point of honesty but also joy. By doing this I have truly let go of the past and am ready to flourish in the present.